(About today's breakdown...)
I came to Japan almost 5 years ago, I began to think about leaving Japan about 4 years ago, I began my graduation research 8 months ago, I did cosplay for the first time 1 month ago, and 2 weeks ago I was told that the next 5 months will be my last in Japan.
Two weeks ago the Education ministry decided to suddenly increase the minimum GPA necessary to extend the scholarship in order to do the Master's studies here. Now, out of 3, it is necessary to have a 2.5 GPA... this is more than 80% of A's. How irrational is that? Do they really expect students, who came without the smallest knowledge of Japanese, to learn their ridiculously complicated language for only one year and then get grades over 80 in most subjects of careers such as Biology or Law? Or is it just that we have become too much of a burden for them and they just decided to kick us out in the most humiliating way possible? This just doesn't make any sense.
It is true that I said that I didn't want to stay in the first place; that I don't enjoy spending my time with people that just pretend I don't exist. I never felt welcome in this country and I grow more and more tired of the permanent feeling of not belonging here, and not quite understanding half of the things I'm supposed to understand. BUT, I loathe the idea of being kicked out instead of getting out by my own foot. I don’t like the idea of getting all the efforts I've done so far flushed down the toilet by some stupid institution that only sees me as a number, and treats its guests as disposable objects.
Anyway, the result is positive, I get to have an excuse to leave without too much guilt for what I could've missed or abandoned and I get the opportunity to get rid of some ghosts that have been hunting me for a while. In the academic side I didn’t get what I expected basically because Japanese educational system for undergraduate courses is as good as anywhere else (including home) or maybe not even as good. The post-graduate courses are incredibly better, though. So maybe it would’ve been a better idea to come for the master instead.
I'm glad about some things, of course. I had the chance to come and see the other side of the world and that’s not something small. Coming here was a great experience; I have traveled a lot, met amazing people who are also great friends. I grew a lot, learned lots of things about many things and about myself, and had some really interesting experiences.
I just hope that the remaining 5 months that I have left bring more of the good things about this place and less disappointments. It would be great to remember my stay here with a smile on my face.
This was: Yin's blind frustration speaking
